Honest Scrap

I received the Honest Scrap award from Patches at Furry Four Legged Kids way back in the day and then before I could post it (because I am a slacker) I got it from One Red Horse @ Baba Yaga's Mirror. So now I have to post 10 things about me and 10 about Ms Foxy.

I am also supposed to pass this on to 10 blogs but wow.....I really don't read many blogs. AT ALL. I dont think there are any that have not already had it. So I am going to skip that for now, as if I do not I think I may never get this posted.

10 things about me:


1. I, apparently, have a horribly deviated septum. Nobody has ever told me this but judging by the picture of my nose in my last post. Yeah. It is possible this is related to my horrible allergies and repeated sinus infections. It is also possible that I can now snort cocaine with NO HANDS. If I breath in without flaring my nostrils, the right one collapses. I am actually considering having this fixed as I am pretty sure I could get my insurance to cover it.


2. When I was younger I played Roller Hockey. Competitively. For years. I was on one of the top teams in the country. I 'retired' from competitive play when I turned 16 and played 'for fun' for a couple years, and then off and on for a couple more years. I last played three months before I got Foxy. I have looked for any women's roller hockey stuff out here but this IS the boonies, so there is nothing. I am considering trying Roller Derby instead.


3. At work I am incredibly organized and anal-retentive. I have a white board at work covered in information about "important orders" and a million spreadsheets that track everything possible on "important orders". I have notebooks that track certain things and reminders in my outlook calendar daily so I don't forget to check logs like a crazy OCD person. I even have things color coordinated...my big project that involves yellow stuff is kept in a yellow folder, the one with orange stuff is in an orange folder, etc etc. I print my spreadsheets and staple them to the inside of the folders too. None of this is required for my job. BUT I LIKE IT. I wnat all info imaginable at my fingertips.


4. I have been single longer than I am willing to admit. It is so sad. This is TMI, but at my last yearly "female parts" checkup, the girl was really insistant about a pregnancy test even though I kept telling her that seriously, not possible. Finally I had to say "bitch, I am sad and lonely, you do not need to bother with the test". Okay maybe I did not call the nurse a bitch. But the rest is true. When I do have "men" in my life, I do not refer to them by name but by job or hobby. The Professor, NavyBoy, SoundGuy. Who needs names when you have occupations?


5. Speaking of not being pregnant...I do NOT like children. Do not. I don't want them, I don't want to visit them, I don't want to sit near them at a restuarant. I don't like them. I have never babysat a single time in my life. I have never changed a dirty diaper. My niece is the only child I like but I think that is because I am biologically REQUIRED to think she is the cutest most awesome child that has ever existed. Which is actually really easy considering the rest of the little monsters are all on my shit list automatically. I am NOT a child person. Give me the furry and feathered ones instead! Don't get me wrong, if you want children that is AWESOME. Just keep them over there, okay?


6. I have been riding motorcycles offroad since I was born. Probably in the womb actually. My family used to go out to the desert and ride 3 and 4 wheelers every few months and on the big holidays EVERY YEAR until my twenties. My dad still has the bikes in his yard. Toby once chewed one of the seats off of one, and the gear shifter off another. Whoops! When I was young, I got me and my cousin lost in the desert all by ourselves. Like....lost enough that there were SEARCH PLANES looking for us, right? Some dudes in a volkwagon bug found us on the side of the road, put our bike in the trunk and stuck us in the back seat. Then they drove around looking for our "camp" and eventually found where we belonged. Oh, back in the days of old when child molesters and kidnappers were not a constant threat.


7. My grandparents on my mom's side are Russian (grandma) and Dutch (grandpa, now deceased). They met when their families were both taken to a 'work camp' (aka concentration camp) during World War II. They ended up falling in love while in the camp and after they were 'set free' they got married and immigrated to America. My grandma speaks her own language which is usually a combination of english, dutch and russian words all crammed together. I spend a lot of time with her saying WHAT LANGUAGE WAS THAT?! I can, however, now say poop and skidmark in russian. Or Dutch. Or at least in a language that is not english. If you can imagine how funny a story about going to the Senior Citizen Center for bingo and apparently sitting in a seat where an old man whose diaper was leaking sat last and then walking around with a spot on your pants that nobody mentions because they just think that YOUR diaper must be leaking? Okay, now that story is funny, but now imagine it coming out of a little old russian lady in THREE LANGUAGES AT THE SAME TIME.


8. My other grandparents are Portugese and mostly just yell at each other in Portugese. My personal repertoire of swear words in other languages is impressive.


9. I once got so frustrated with Frankie that I posted him on Craigslist. All I got in response was a single mean email yelling at me for 'getting rid of him'. I did not actually plan on getting rid of him, but posting it made me feel better.


10. I have broken both wrists (at the same time), my right elbow, my left ring finger and a toe on my right foot. TWO OF THESE INJURIES ARE HORSE RELATED. When I broke my finger, I also dislocated it. I stood there looking at it for a minute, and then popped it all back into place myself. BECAUSE I AM AWESOME. okay maybe 5 minutes later I had to sit down because I was woozy but lets not discuss that ever again.



HOLY COW THAT WAS REALLY HARD.



10 things about Foxy:


1. Foxy hates apple pie. BUT WAIT, you say, she used to love it. Yes, yes. And then I tried to hide bute in it. I am a failure as an owner.


2. Foxy looooooves the girl horses. She does not like the geldings. I am not sure if she is a lesbian horse, or if she is just used to hanging out in a band of broodmares from her previous life (assuming that is what she did).


3. Foxy once double barreled another horse in the shoulder when he bit her butt. Remind me to never, ever, never, ever do that to her. I think she was asleep when it happened.


4. Foxy "laughs" like beavis and butthead. She nickers over and over and over and over all in a row and it sounds JUST like beavis and butthead laughing. It is hysterical.


5. Foxy loves to have her kneecaps, shins and hocks scratched. She gets all googly eyed, and droopy lipped over it.


6. Foxy has only ever successfully been ridden by ME.


7. Foxy bucked me off and broke my right elbow, my cell phone and dented my helmet. 3 months later she broke/dislocated the ring finger on my left hand when she flipped her lid getting shod for the first time. She breaks my bank acount EVERY DAY.


8. Foxy got so fat after the first few months I owned her that I had to have her checked to make sure she was not pregnant. She would not allow the vet near her without freaking out so we did bloodwork. When he called me a week or so later to tell me she was NOT pregnant, he said I was the first person who was ever excited about negative results. I was in an airport at the time. Onlookers must have been so confused.


9. Foxy does not believe in trailer ramps. She will walk up them but jumps over them to come out. It is a horrible habit but hard to break considering I do not have a trailer. She will walk across plywood and even on the Paso "sounding board" without any major issues. She shoots out the back of a trailer like a rocket if there is a ramp. If it is step down, she steps out calmly.


10. Foxy is the funniest horse that ever lived.







She has a good sense of humor.








That seriously took way too long. Hope you enjoyed those litle tidbits about me and Ms Foxy.