We need to have a little chat. Come closer.
Okay. Not that close.
Better. So....this whole Tennessee thing is not working out. I'm afraid I'm going to need to go back to California. Southern California. I heard it was eighty degrees there this week. Eighty! Do you know what temperature it was here this week?
I don't know, something like 2 DEGREES last night. Including wind chill, whatever that means. It has been below 20 degrees for like....OVER A DAY. Oh my god, what is she doing to me? What has this crazy woman done to me, moving me out to this god forsaken land?
I can't live like this. Do I look happy?
I'm freezing my ass off. Can you see me shivering?
How about this side of my face...does it look any warmer?
I didn't think so. Today the stupid food lady showed up and fed me some carrots and....MY CARROTS WERE FROZEN. FROZEN. They were SHRIVELED and HARD. And disgusting. Okay, maybe I still ate them all and searched for more but that is only because she is STARVING ME. They were the first carrots I have eaten in like....3 days. 3 WHOLE DAYS. THREE. ONE TWO THREE.
Don't fuck with my carrots, Mother Nature. I will shank you. Shank you with my frozen carrot. Wanna know what this is? This is the face of a horse who will shank you with her frozen carrot, unless you warm the hell up.
That's it. Carry on.
5 comments:
Ha! Ha! Ha! I love the expression on her face! I know how she feels. I'm in Michigan and we have been below freezing for weeks. It got up into the 30's on Sunday and you would have thought it was 90 around here everyone was celebrating. Sad isn't it!
You can feel her pain..
Awesome.
libertyrider, I'm in Michigan too, and I've about had it. I'm going to shank Michigan with the bigass widowmaker icicles on my house.
ROFLMAO!!!! lucky I put my coffee down first!!!
Shanked with a carrot tee hee
ROFL - you are too funny!
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