Ready, set, keel over and die

I am SO TIRED. So. Fricking. Tired.


I have spent the last two days working my ass off (not literally, sadly) remodeling the shed into a coop. It is still not done, but I think I can finish it this week if the weather holds. I still need to build the nesting boxes, which are going to be exterior boxes that open from the outside so you can collect eggs without having to go in there.


I'M PREPARING FOR THE EVIL ROOSTER.








Did you say something about an evil rooster?





So yes, exterior nesting boxes. Like this.....










I still need to build that, but it is kind of the most difficult part, so I am going to probably just cover the opening that I left for those with a piece of plywood so I can "finish" the coop........and since I have already fitted a partial frame to the opening, I can now build the nesting boxes elsewhere and then bring them and fit them into the wall once they are done. Because I have the darn Jersey Giant, I have to include a very large nesting box. So one is going to be 18x18, and the other two will be approx 15x18. They say you can use use 1 box for 4 hens, I think....so this will work for 12. I will have to add more later, but figure I will have to put them on another wall or something. I may make another nesting box unit on the back wall as well.


But that will be later. For now, I just need to get this thing done so the chickens can move out there....and the little chickens can move out of the extra bedroom into the garage tack shed.

I have 5 days! My dad flies in Saturday and needs that room to sleep in. Crunch time! Sometimes I think I should have done all of this work BEFORE I got the chickens, but I need the pressure to get it done. I have thought about getting chickens since I moved in and here we are a year and a half later and I'm just now finally doing it and only because it is necessary at this point.

So yes, I think I posted pics of the shed before. It is next to the garage...actually shares a common wall. And is butted up against the chicken run I built a while back. It has holes in the floor, holes in the walls, missing parts of the walls, rotted boards and some seriously ridiculous mickey mouse carpentry going. One wall actually had a 4x4 post for about 2/3 of the height of the wall. And then there was a 2x4 above that....with a bunch of scraps pieces all nailed together to "fill" the 2x4 to the same approximate size of the 4x4. And no screws in the thing, just nails and nails and nails and staples and more nails.


ARGH. Use screws! They are labor friendly! Both to put them in and take them out! And they work better than nails!

I ended up doing some demo on one wall.......took some of the weird crap out of the corners and redid some patches. Covered the big gaps. I did finally put in a new partial floor today. I was going to do the whole floor but most of it was fine.....so I covered the bad half and am going to cover part of the other half tomorrow....you can't just cover the whole floor easily because of the way it is set up.

I still need to add a couple boards to the top edge and build the damn door. I hate building doors. Hate. Hate. Hate. Doors and gates. Grrrrrrr. I have all the hardware needed, just have to build the thing. I am hoping I can get the door built and up tomorrow after work.


So here it was before.












And conveniently there is a shelf in there (for temporary nesting boxes), and a WINDOW. It is old and crappy but....uh...FREE WINDOW. Yay. I am going to clean it and re-caulk it and then repaint it. Should be just fine.








The thing to remember about all of this? This is an old falling apart piece of crap excuse for a "shed". ANYTHING I do to "improve" it will be better than nothing. Even turning it into a mediocre chicken coop is better than a shed that is falling apart and has no use (and no floor....). So I don't aim for perfect, but I do want it to look nice. I see sheds and coops online and I file away all the things I like.



I like the idea of the windows and flowers on this one. I am totally going to add a flower box to my window once I am done with this.








I actually thought of adding some cute green shutters to the window as well. I have these old closet doors that I could totally cut down to size and paint green for it. Except I think to make them the right scale for the window and shed, would be too large for the area I have left.


So anyways, back to the DEMO.


I knocked out the partial front wall.








Then I started to frame in the new wall.







Checking the window for correct placement height...








This is where I ended last night.










Then today I started filling in the front.








Then I framed the window.








That big gap on the bottom right is for the nesting box.




Then I started cutting ventilation windows into the walls. There will be two on this wall, one on the back wall, and I might put one in the door as well.











They are not finished. They still need to be framed on the outside, both for security and for looks. Mostly looks. But I will have to pull part of the chicken run roof mesh apart and get on a ladder....on a hill.....so that will wait until my dad gets here next week. I will need to make covers for them as well, although they probably won't be necessary until winter.










I have to admit, my work is not technically correct. BUT IT WORKS. It's a damn chicken coop, for crying out loud. WHO CARES?!?! No matter what, it will be better than it was before. And I actually think it will be pretty awesome. I am going to paint it to match my house and garage. That tan/khaki color on the walls, white trim and dark green accents. Flower box on the window. Some sort of BEWARE OF ANGRY CHICKENS sign on the door.

It has an open area in front of it. Needs a retaining wall to hold back the "hill" in front of it. I will do that next, I guess. Then backfill that area with some gravel for draining, a layer of sand and then dirt. And then I think I will cover that whole area with weed cloth and then gravel. It is too hard to mow it and I totally do not have time to weed and stuff.


One of the best parts is that the whole front area.....is made out of cull wood from Home Depot. $0.50 each piece. HA HA HA. And the window was free as it came with the rest of the crap in that shed....came with the house when I bought it.......other than the framing which is just the cheap $2 eight foot 2x4. The cull wood making the face of the front wall is less than $10 worth. Fabulous.


So, that is what I've been up to.


Which brings me to a point I keep meaning to bring up. I live alone and am single, and other than my sister and brother in law, all of my family are back in California. Most of my friends out here are girls I work with, so I have no real "help" with projects. Sure, my parents visit very often and will usually help me out around here for a day or two....but for the most part if I don't do it, it doesn't get done.

And I have to admit I had not done any real projects prior to moving out here. I lived at home with my family and so had no real need to do anything.


But then I moved here. And now I have no choice. So I put up porch railings, and paint things, and put up electric fences, and build chicken runs, and doors for tack sheds, and finally an actual chicken coop/shed.

One day at work, last year sometime, I was talking about how I wanted to put up a new porch railing. And so I was just kind of thinking out loud about how I would probably have to add a bottom rail and then cut some 8 footers to size, etc etc etc. And one of the girls said, "Wow, you'll never need a man."

SAY WHAT?!?!



Girls, ladies, females.......women of all ages....nobody "needs a man" to do stuff. It sounds so cheesy but you can do anything you put your mind to.


Except for winning the lottery, but I'm trying to change that one too.


I am.....kind of independent (that is the understatement of the year). And I like to be self-sufficient.

Need a new porch railing? Build it.

Need a horse fence? Build it.

Need a chicken run? Build it.

Need a chicken coop? Build it.

Seriously. I screw shit up all the time and have to backtrack and redo it. Sometimes it works out, sometimes I have to stop and rethink of another way.

Sometimes I break drill bits (okay so a lot of times). Sometimes the batteries on the power tools die mid-project (okay a lot of time on that too). Sometimes I break the drill (that was today, oops). Sometimes I take the drill apart and fix it (I have SKILLZ). Sometimes I injured my hands (always).

I really need to remember to wear gloves more. I have worker hands, blisters, cuts, wounds, sore spots. Good thing I am SADLY SINGLE.

Speaking of which, anyone know any nice 28-35 year old single men? That look like Train Conductors (just kidding, just kidding, inside joke)? Keep in mind, EXTREMELY INDEPENDENT. And selfish. I don't play well with others sometimes, okay? I am not good at compromise.

I cannot STAND someone telling me what to do. When my friends say something like, "Oh, I'm not sure if I can go to the show friday night, I need to convince my boyfriend to let me". Oh. OH MAN. Ya'll don't even know how my blood boils.

Nobody tells me what to do. Okay, I may take your opinion into account, but....bottom line, my life means my decisions. Like it or leave it! Don't ever change yourself for a man.


I think I may stay single forever. I actually met this dude and he had bought this really old house and had it moved to his own land and was remodeling it from the ground up doing a lot of the work himself. And he had a FARM. And randomly rescued dogs and cats and stuff. And we went out and it went well and then we tried and tried to go out again and stuff kept coming up and we planned and I canceled. And then we planned again and he canceled. And then he went out of town on business and just nothing ever happened. Bummer! That coincided with me locking myself out of my house in 35 degree weather in my pajamas one morning where I had to try to break into my garage and almost smoked myself out with CO2 poisoning from my lawn mower and attempted to climb an 8 foot wall in knee high rubber boots.

Did I ever tell that story?

It's pretty funny.


So that is that. Don't take any shit from any guy ever. Do what you want and if you need something done then do it yourself. Even if you think you can't do it.


And if all else fails, fix up your hair, put on extra makeup and a low cut shirt and go to Lowes for help. NOT THAT I HAVE EVER DONE THAT. EVER.




You are a liar. I'm going to kill you now